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Isn't it funny (and a little scary) how every good memoir is based largely on the childhood of the main character? A bad set of parents can elicit some of the most wonderful and poignant memoirs (such as The Glass Castle: A Memoir
, Driving with Dead People: A Memoir
etc). And yet no one wants to be those bad parents, even though interesting children are always a bonus.
Which leads me to wonder what our kids will say about how they were raised. There are a few things I know for sure: they won't say we abused them, they will say their Mom was always forgetting things and most likely they'll say their Dad was gone a lot.
Sadly, Hubby is an orthopedic surgery resident and has been gone a lot lately. In fact, he hasn't seen the kids in almost a week. Granted, he's been traveling on fellowship interviews as well as working, so it's a little more crazy than usual, but you can only imagine how I felt when my daughter said, "Mommy, why doesn't Daddy come home anymore?"
I explained how he has to work a lot since he's a doctor and helps fix people's bones. She was very thoughtful for a few minutes and finally said, "Mommy, I'm really glad for the people that Daddy helps, but I'm just sad that he has to be a Doctor. Can't he be a policeman or sell stuff like you?"
Tears sprang to my eyes...both from sadness but also from joy about what a thoughtful and sweet little girl I have. I feel like that is pretty insightful for a four year old. And I have to admit that I share her feeling...it's hard to be thankful that your husband is a doctor when he's gone all the time. Granted, he's still a resident and everyone knows those hours are hellacious, but sometimes you wonder if there is any light at the end of the tunnel. I did my best to explain that policemen have to work a lot too and how much her Daddy loves her, and to Daddy's credit, he does his very best to be home when he can and call when he can't. And, I'm happy to report that tonight Daddy made it home just in time to kiss the kids to bed tonight so it wasn't a full week that passed without him seeing them. Thank God for small miracles.
I also want to say how much I appreciate you readers and your comments. I have gotten really busy with my job again so it's been hard to keep up this blog. Your comments really keep me going so THANK YOU!!!
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Yesterday I walked in the door with the kids after running an errand and I couldn't believe my eyes. My first thought was, "Oh my God!! We've been burglarized!! Someone has ransacked our house looking for something!! What were they looking for? I need to call the police!!"
Then I realized something even more scary. We did that ourselves. And I didn't even notice before we left the house BECAUSE IT SEEMED TOTALLY NORMAL TO ME. Ahhh, the joys of children. The fifteen outfit changes before lunchtime. The searching for that one particular doll named Sarah that we haven't played with in about four months but suddenly it's crucial to our life's happiness. The milk cups spilled everywhere. It really never ends, does it???
Later that night, after we cleaned up the house, I made the brilliant decision to let the kids go upstairs and start getting ready for bed by themselves. They are 4.5 and almost 3 now and I thought it would be heavenly if they could begin the bedtime routine by themselves once in awhile. I had successfully performed this magic trick twice in the last week and I was thrilled to find them upstairs brushing their teeth peacefully by the time I got upstairs. The problem is that I got over-confident. I must have left them alone a few minutes too long because suddenly my daughter was downstairs, staring at me.
"Yes?" I said.
"Mommy, I'm afraid I have some bad news," she said. "My brother has pottied all over the floor."
I ran upstairs and sure enough, there is my little guy, with his underwear around his legs, standing in a pool of potty. I have to admit that it was pretty hard not to laugh and okay, Little Buddy isn't quite ready for the solo bedtime routine. And I guess it's safe to say that my house will never be the cleanest house on the block, but I guess it's all in your definition of the word, "clean", right? And I plan to re-define that word, for the good of Moms everywhere. Are you with me???
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It snowed right before Christmas this year and it was the first time Little Buddy (2.5 years) had really seen snow. The kids were thrilled to make a snowman with Daddy and they've been talking about it ever since. So, we've been doing lots of snowman crafts and as usual, all of our crafts are very easy! Here are four easy ways to make snowman crafts:
PAPER SNOWMAN
For this one, I cut up several different sizes of circles in all different colors. I simply laid out the collection of circles and let the kids choose which color and which size to glue on for their snowman. Since there were so many options, they each made several of them before they grew tired of this. Plus I let them glue on some Poms that were left over from Christmas. This was a good exercise in choosing bigger over smaller since they knew that the biggest circle should go on the bottom. Plus it was good for fine motor to glue on the little poms.
COTTON BALL SNOWMAN
For this one I just drew out a snowman and gave them some cotton balls to glue on. I always like to let them use real glue when I can because squeezing it out is so great for hand strength
BEAN SNOWMAN
I drew out a snowman and gave them glue and beans and they glued the beads to the outline. Of course, Little Buddy's didn't quite look this good, but he did enjoy it and then it led to sensory play with the beans! This was also great for fine motor control as they had to use their fingers to pinch the beans and affix them to the page.
BASIC SNOWMAN
This was definitely the least messy! For this, I just drew the outline and she used her markers to decorate it. I actually didn't originally intend for her to do this, but she grabbed the markers and had a blast. Later we used paint for the same purpose.
For more ideas on easy crafts, I hope you will consider buying my book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn. If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you! We give you a Mom's point of view and a teacher's point of view, so that you can do activities that not only keep the kids busy, but also keep them motivated to learn and develop their natural curiosity. Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom!
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Right before Christmas I was picking the kids up from gymnastics class and one of the Moms was telling everyone about how she had bought 2 of every gift for her kids for Christmas (her girls are 5 and 3). Her intent was to make sure that they didn't have any reason to fight over anything. She went on to explain further that she had been buying 2 of everything since before her 2nd child had even been born. She bragged, "I knew even back then that I would have no peace in my house with kids so close in age unless I had 2 of every toy. So now they have no reason to fight!"
I began to feel panicky. Was this what everyone did and I just never knew it? That thought had never occurred to me and certainly not back when I only had one child. I mentally scanned the presents I'd bought for Christmas and realized that I had bought only one of every toy. Of course, I have a boy and a girl so, in theory, this should be no problem. I bought binoculars and trucks for my boy and dolls and doll clothes for my girl.
Yet Christmas came around and sure enough, they fought over everything. My daughter was dying to play with the train and the workbench instead of with her dolls. My son didn't care what he played with as long as he had stolen it from his big sister. On December 27th I thought I was going to lose my mind. My entire day was filled with crying, pushing, protesting and the Christmas spirit was gone. What was wrong with my children? I called my Mom and I was almost in tears and explained the situation to her. She said:
"Katie, it's their job to fight over toys. It's part of growing up and it's how they learn."
I replied, "But they're driving me crazy and I can't stop yelling at them! Now on top of everything I feel super guilty for yelling at them!"
She said, "Don't worry so much. It may be their job to fight but it's your job to yell at them. Or at least teach them."
I found these words very comforting. We are all just doing our jobs. And after I looked at it that way, I calmed down and stopped yelling and started teaching them more calmly. And she was right. After a few days, the newness of all the gifts went away and things went back to normal, with them fighting only part of the day and not all day long. Grandmas are very wise.
I'd love to hear from my readers. Did you go through this fighting after Christmas too? Does anyone buy 2 gifts for everyone, just to prevent fighting?
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