5 Reasons I Try Not to Yell (Very Often)

I don't know about you, but I love to feel inspired.  I love it when someone can give me solid reasons to improve myself.  So that gave me an idea.  Lately I have noticed that yell less and I think it's mainly because as a blogger, I have done a lot of research on parenting styles, so I began to compile a list of the 5 Reasons that I try not to lose it with the kids.  I don't always succeed, I'm not perfect.  Sometimes I scream at the top of my lungs and they cower in fear and promise to stop pestering each other.  But lately I've been doing better and here is why:
5 Reasons I Try (But Don't Always Succeed) Not to Yell 

1. There is scientific evidence that says that Moms who are more nurturing and have more patience have smarter kids in the long run.    I am very much of a goal-oriented person, so it helps me feel that I am doing something scientifically positive when I take a deep breath and force myself to follow through with a reasonable punishment instead of yelling.
2. There is more scientific evidence that yelling can be almost as bad as hitting, in terms of emotional scarring down the road.
3. Yelling is mean.  I haven't had someone scream at me in years.  I would NEVER scream at my husband so why would I scream at my kids, who are a lot more vulnerable?  Bottom line is that I always feel guilty after I yell and I feel crummy for hours if not days.  Why not try to avoid that if I can?
4. Yelling is far more effective if done rarely.  Yes, I truly think sometimes kids need to know that what they have done will not be tolerated.  I remember the rare times my parents yelled at me it was very effective.  But just like anything else, if overused, yelling loses all benefits.
5. When I think about the kind of parent I want to be, and the kind of relationship I want to have with my kids, it never involves my yelling and them being scared and resentful of me.  I want them to be respectful and not bratty of course, and that means effective discipline, but I want them to also think I am reasonable and they can talk to me about things in the future, when life gets more complicated.  After all, I think there is a lot of truth to the saying, "Little Kids, Little Problems.  Big Kids, Big Problems."  Maybe, just maybe, if I have a good partnership with my kids by the time they're teen-agers, I can prevent bigger problems.  With teen drug use on the rise, it's worth the effort.

I hope this has inspired you the way it inspired me.  If not, don't feel guilty and don't yell at me.  Every person and every child is different.

For other ideas on how to avoid yelling at your little ones and try to find positive ways to encourage and spend time with them, I hope you'll check out my book, The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn!

Cleaning Chart for Tired Zombie-Cleaning Mommies

Sometimes I feel like a cleaning zombie.  I just walk around all day in a haze, cleaning up everything in my path.  By the time I get the kitchen cleaned up, I turn around and realize the kids have pulled all the toys out of the cabinet.  By the time we get all those cleaned up, my daughter has decided it's time to change her outfit and pulled out all the clothes.  Generally I ask them to help, but even when they agree to help it's sort of like using a small cocktail napkin to clean up a gallon of milk.  It's just not going to cut it.
So, imagine my surprise when I came home the other day and my sitter told me that my daughter had helped her clean up the house.  And she gave me that look that said, "Truly, she really did help this time."  It turns out that my sitter made a chart for her that worked wonders!  She took the time to explain everything to her and drew the pictures and then allowed her to check things off when she completed them.  That was the trick I think...my daughter really enjoyed being able to check off that she completed the task.   
I really loved this idea because it helped improved her self-esteem by helping her realize how helpful she could truly be, and then I got to kick my feet up and return from zombie-land for a short time. 

I hope you'll consider checking out my book, co-authored by best-selling author Susan Case!  It is called  The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble, and Motivated to Learn.  If you have ever tried to cook dinner while your kid clings to your leg and cries, this is the book for you!


Kids behave better when they are given challenging projects to work on, which will in turn give you more free time to do the things you really need to do, like washing dishes, paying bills, and relaxing so that you can be a better Mom!  You can hear us talk about this theory in this interview about the book:

Experiment Part #2 - How I Got My Toddler to Eat (and Like) Green Onions

As many of you know, I went on a mission a few weeks ago to cure my kids of the following bad habits:
1.  Refusing to try new stuff that I went to all the trouble to make (which really irritated me since I had to referee fights and try to keep them alive while I cooked this "new" meal). 2.  Uttering the phrase, "Mommy I'm hungry" every fifteen minutes, all day long, even after we just ate breakfast three minutes prior 3.  Not eating enough vegetables
So, in my last post about this, I revealed how I got my daughter to start helping me cook and how it totally changed the evening.  Instead of feeling like I was fighting a battle while I cooked dinner, I actually enjoyed it.  My daughter did too, and she even was more adventurous with trying the meal since she had helped me make it.
Next, I decided to tackle the fruits and vegetables issue.  Again, I was truly amazed at the results.  This picture says it all:

This is a photo of my three year old, eating and enjoying green onions.  Here is how it happened.  I was letting them help me make dinner and green onions were part of the recipe.  My little guy asked if he could try them.  My initial reaction was to say, "No, you won't like those, just hand them over."
But then I took a step back and remembered what the book taught me.  It's all about the process.  So, I said, "Sure, go ahead!"  I was amazed when he said, "Mommy, these are good!"
He proceeded to eat the ENTIRE stalk of green onions.  And this is a kid who doesn't even like carrots.  Now all of a sudden he like raw green onions???
Next, the Edamame was finished and again the kids asked if they could try it.  I had intended to save it for dinner, but again I told them it was okay and I looked over a couple minutes later and saw Big Sis popping those edamame out of their shells and handing them to her little brother and even feeding him like he was a little hungry birdie.

Lastly, Little Buddy did the dishes for me (Yes, I had to change his shirt because he got himself a little wet, but I still appreciated his help all the same)

This "cooking project" has been going on for over a month now and the kids haven't lost interest yet.  I believe there are a few reasons that my experiments have worked so well:
1.  They get to stand on their own stools during the entire process 2.  I have been very willing to let them do things I wouldn't normally do (like peeling carrots by themselves...normally I would have thought that was way too sharp of an object, but I supervised carefully and they totally proved me wrong) 3.  I made it fun...fun for them AND fun for me!
My last Experiment will be to update you on how I eliminated snacking...stay tuned!!
PS...thanks to all of you who bought my book while it was on sale this week...I'm proud to say that we got up to #1 in the Parenting Category and Susan and I were thrilled!

Sale! $0.99 for The Happy Mommy Handbook through April 9th!

For the first time ever, The Happy Mommy Handbook is on sale!  $0.99 (Instead of the normal price of $3.99) for 2 days now being offered through April 9th. You can purchase the ebook from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Kobo.
If you have been enjoying my blog, you'll love this book.  We will inspire you to have more fun with your daily life with your kids.  Yes, it's tough to stay patient with little kids, but I teamed up with Kindergarten Teacher, Susan Case, to give you ideas on how to keep your kids busy and also help them learn at the same time!  Here is a book review that really explains it all:
"This book seriously saved my sanity. I've read a bunch of parenting books but this is literally the only one that actually gave me real and specific advice and ideas for things to do with my daughter. I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year old and I was at my wits end trying to come up with ideas of fun, easy, creative things to do with her that will keep her busy and occupied and help her learn. I wasn't very good at following through on ideas that I heard about from friends or read in other books or online because they seemed too complicated (aka: messy!) but this book broke it down and made it so simple. I highly recommend it!"

I hope you'll check out this book...I would really appreciate your support and don't forget if you've read it, we can really use all the good book reviews we can get on Amazon and B&N!