Are We Robbing Our Kids of a Childhood?

Did you know that 75% of all American children are enrolled in daycare centers?   A new study was published this week in the American Journal of Pediatrics that finds that these daycare children are largely sedentary and are only spending 2-3% of their day doing vigorous physical activity.  This is way down from the recommended levels and it means that the vast majority of American children are starting out their lives way behind in gross motor skills.  The researchers found three reasons for the largely sedentary lifestyle in day cares:

1.  Injury concerns (Daycare providers are afraid of being sued and also say that parents urge them not to let the children play vigorously, for fear of injury)
2.  Financial (They don't have the money to buy safe equipment and also state that the equipment that is "safe" isn't interesting or fun for kids so they don't see any reason to waste the money.  That's ironic, isn't it?)
3.  Emphasis on academics (Society has placed such importance on reading and test scores that parents are feeling the pressure and are worried their kids won't know the letters and numbers at an early age.  The daycare centers that were studied stated that parents were more concerned about what their children "learned" that day, rather than how much they played and that parents put a lot of pressure on the daycare centers to emphasize academics to "prepare" children for school.)

My kids don't go to daycare, but my observation is that most daycares are wonderful.  The teachers really do care about the children and there are regulations in place that keep things very safe and clean.  However, according this study, the problem is that after kids get home from daycare, it's often time to have dinner and a bath and go to bed, so the daytime is the only time they would have to play outside and play vigorously and since they aren't getting it there, they might not be getting it at all.

Think back for a minute to when you were a kid.  Do you remember sitting around learning numbers and letters?  Of course not.  You remember riding bikes to the pool, catching fireflies, or maybe climbing a tree with your best friend.  Obviously children need to read, but people have been learning to read for hundreds and thousands of years, so why do we think we need to drill this into our children's head at age 3?  Why do we think we need computer programs to teach our children to read?

I have heard that many Kindergarten teachers are now using computer programs to teach children how to read.  Can you imagine?  Many experts maintain that children learn by doing, by interacting, and by touching, and not by computers.  I'm sure computers are fine in moderation, but I find it extremely alarming that any school would use a computer program as the primary teaching plan for the academic year.  It's almost like schools don't care about fun, social skills, or problem-solving.  They only care about test scores. 

To me, this illustrates so clearly how the emphasis on academics is stealing childhood from our children.  As parents, I think we need to protest.  The pressure for children to perform well in school is so intense that people feel the need to start preparing at age 2 or 3.  I know that I feel the pressure sometimes.  I don't want my kids to get behind, but I think we need to draw a line somewhere.  Homework is getting so out of control in many grade schools that kids don't even have time to play outside after school.  This is tragic.  Getting a good score when they are ten years old doesn't guarantee success in life.  People grow up to be successful and happy in life when they are confident, self-reliant, and aren't lazy and are willing to work for success.  When we deprive our children the opportunity to play outside and play with other children, we rob them of chances to learn these valuable skills.  Let's give our children something to remember about their childhood, other than sitting in front of a computer while they learn numbers and letters.  Let's make some memories with our kids and quit worrying so much about test scores.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not a perfect Mom by any means, but I LOVE watching my kids play vigorously and get exercise.  After all, see what kids can do if we just give them some time to be kids?  

New Research Shows Working Moms are Less Depressed

Ever since women entered the workforce in droves during the 80s, Moms have pondered the important question, What Will Make the Happiest?  Should I Work or Should I Stay Home With my Kids?  We may now have an answer.  A new study published by Live Science reveals that women who work, either full time or part time, are healthier and have less depression than women who stay home with their young children.  The study appears to be fairly extensive since it began in 1991 and followed women through every stage of their child's life.


As a working Mom, I have to say that I am a little shocked by these results.  I work because my husband isn't done with his surgical training yet so we need the money.  I also work because I want to and because I truly like having a life outside my kids but I am often crippled with guilt when I leave my kids for the day.  Every single day I wonder if my kids would be happier if Mom was staying home with them.  Guilt is a powerful emotion and it makes me wonder whether this study researched guilt and how it relates to depression?

On the other hand, my job is very flexible and I am often home with the kids, especially by the time they wake up from naps in the afternoon.  I can very easily see why staying home with little children all day could make you a little crazy.  The witching hour between 4 and 7 is crazy.  The kids are often looking for ways to irritate each other or me, which means they cry and whine a lot, and sometimes everything I try seems to end in disaster.

I wonder if the depression that many Moms face is more related to feeling judged.  I know that I feel judged often.  I feel like people wonder if I love my kids enough.  I know that my friends who stay home sometimes feel judged for not having a career.  In my humble opinion, there would probably be less depression if there was less judging.  Maybe we should agree not to judge each other, no matter what we choose for our own families.

Millions of women go to college and spend thousands getting a college education, only to quit working several years later to raise children.  I say Kudos to them!  This study only looks at the health and depression in the Moms, but what about the children?  True, people often say that if Mom is happy the family is happy, but can kids ever really be truly happy at a daycare facility?


My only hope is that women everywhere know that they have the choice and it's okay to reverse their decision.  If staying at home is making you depressed, get a job.  Often once a Mom chooses to stay home, she can't imagine going back to work and putting the kids in daycare, so a vicious cycle begins and that is how women get depressed.

At the same time, if a Mom works and she hates her job and wishes she could stay home with the kids, then she should take steps to make that happen.  Get a smaller house, buy less stuff, figure out how to work part time.
 
I have heard that Stay At Home Moms are a dying breed.  Since I often wish I was a Stay At Home Mom, I sure hope they never become extinct.  That would be a true tragedy.