Showing posts with label funny toddler story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny toddler story. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Scary Cat Book...VERY funny but NOT Appropriate for Kids
She was so excited and asked me to read it to her. I got her all snuggled on my lap and started using my fun reading voice but burtst out laughing and had to stop half-way through the first sentance. This was odd...should I go on?
"Mommy, what's wrong?" my daughter asked.
"Nothing," I say. "Let's try the next page."
Hmm...I don't really want to explain what disembowel means. Or intenstines for that matter. Moving on...
Killing spree. Perfect material for our cozy fireside chat. By now my daughter is starting to catch on that these kitties aren't cute. Or nice.
"I'm scared of that kitty," she says. I do give it a valiant effort, but in the end, they're all either scary or inappropriate. Funny, yes. Good reading for my three year old, not so much.
Munchkin Girl asked if she could tear out the scary pages. I agreed and it turns out that she does know how to diembowel something. Now Hubby and I can spend a pleasant evening laughing our at all the adult humor strewn all over our table.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Why you shouldn't leave boys alone
Little Buddy found some bubble bath in our cabinet and was happily pouring it all over the carpet. He really did look happy and almost proud of his art.
And that is why you never turn your back on an 18 month old boy. No matter how inviting the bed is and how interesting the article is on Brad Pitt.
Luckily, God invented the vaccuum. Well, maybe not God, but someone very smart.
Friday, September 23, 2011
5 Embarrassing Mom Moments this week
1. Little Buddy tried to shove me off the toilet this week. He kept pointing and grunting at the Dora potty seat. It was really stressing him out that I was on the toilet without it and he wanted me to get up and put it on. The problem is that he's getting very strong and my ass is far too large to use the Dora potty seat. It was quite a struggle to stay seated.
2. Munchkin Girl suddenly stopped walking in Target. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, I smell something bad. Did you peep?" Damn kid and her perceptive nose. She's like the smell police.
3. Little Buddy wouldn't stay in the circle at our first (and last) Gymboree Class. He kept getting up and wanting to run around the room and play with everything. In his defense, the kooky teachers really expected an 18 month old boy to sit in a tiny circle and play with puppets when there was a huge room full of balls and things to climb on. I mean, he's only human.
4. I filled up my grocery cart to the brim, bought everything, and ended up at home somehow with an empty car. This is the 2nd time I have left my groceries at the store. In a month.
5. Munchkin Girl looked wistfully out the window one night during sunset. All kinds of wispy clouds were in the sky. She said, "Mommy, I think I saw a falling star. Don't you just love summer?" (Okay, you got me. That was a Fun one, not an embarassing one. They redeemed themselves)
I also started a new Facebook page, called Embarrassing Mom Moments. Feel free to join up there and add your own embarrassing Mom Moments.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Lipstick and a Kiss
I tucked her into bed and about 3 minutes later she was screaming. I went running up the stairs and found her sobbing.
"What's wrong?"
She wiped her tears with her hand. "I need more lipstick and I need a kiss."
She's only three years old. So now on my to-do list today is to make sure she understands the difference between chapstick and lipstick so she doesn't go to pre-school begging for lipstick. The teachers would definitely judge me.
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