Tuesday, November 3, 2015

7 Signs that You Need to Toughen Up

I remember the day vividly when I realized I needed to toughen up.  I was working full-time and I had two small kids and my husband was working all the time.  They both suddenly came down with the stomach flu.  I had several light bulbs that needed to be replaced and I hadn't bothered to do it because I needed to get a ladder out of the garage.  Suddenly a spider came out of a towel and my daughter yelled, "A bug!  Where's Daddy?"  It occurred to me then that I needed to take control and toughen up.

I killed that spider and marched out to the garage for the ladder.  It felt wonderful.  Then I took some probiotics to ward off the stomach flu decided I just wasn't going to get it.  I just couldn't.  And I didn't.  And from that day forward, I felt like a new woman.

Now, 5 years later, my daughter comes to me when she finds a scary bug.  Or she takes care of it herself, since she's also a mini-scientist and loves to catch and collect all kinds of bugs.  When she grows up and is a young Mom, I have no intention of her living in a dark house, filled with spiders the way I did, because there is just no reason to.  Of course, I love my husband, and we are a good team, but being tough and independent is one of the most rewarding changes I have ever made in my life.

Here are 7 signs you need to toughen up:
1.  You don't change your own bulbs, especially the high-up ones.  That's right ladies, don't be afraid to go get a ladder.  There's no reason to leave it for your husband.  Take charge right when you realize it's burned out.
2.  You go to your husband when you find a bug that needs to be killed (or caught and released, depending on your point of view).  They're not that scary.  In fact, you could help your kids collect disgusting spiders, cicada shells, and preying mantis (see below, every summer we collect these and I find them all over the house in plastic bags).  AND you can put the worms on the hook yourself.



3.  You are afraid to take on house-hold projects, even small ones such as adding extra hooks to the swingset or hanging pictures.  There is no reason to leave pictures sitting by a wall for weeks on end just because your husband hasn't had time to hang it.  We live in the world of HGTV.  And, some women are ready good with their hands.  I'm not, but some are and if you're a lucky one, you could tackle some paint jobs and help with the bigger jobs like tile or building decks.
4.  You hate going places by yourself.  You often pull the, "I don't want to drive there by myself," routine, especially if that means a road-trip or an airplane ride with the kids by yourself.  Get yourself a DVD player for the kids, and hit the open road.  You will survive.  If I can do it, you can.
5.  You don't take out your own trash.  Sometimes husbands have early meetings or just forget.  You have strong arms, so putting them to use should be no problem for you.
6.  You never take care of yard work.  But what happens if your husband forgets to water those baby trees?  You can pull weeds, you mow the yard.  (Okay, I admit my husband doesn't let me mow the yard because he says it doesn't look terrible when I do it.  But I do everything else.)
7.  You won't shovel your own snow.  Give the kids a shovel and get 'er done!

Of course, I'm not 100% independent.  I still make my husband throw away dead mice and squirrels, but I do my best and I'm proud to show my kids that being fearless is possible.

Independent Moms






Please also consider checking out my book!  I think you will find it really helps you with ideas for your little ones!

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