Thursday, June 18, 2015
Confessions of a Mom at the Car Wash
We pulled up to the car wash the other day and I decided to give it the full treatment. I dragged out the incredibly powerful hose and began the grueling task that every Mom dreads: cleaning out the car. As I did, I began to fully grasp the seriousness of the situation. Crayons and popcorn were stuck in places that no one expected. I found items long ago forgotten: the portable dog bowl we've been looking for since Christmas, the Easter tie from two years ago. No matter how hard I tried, the dog hair just wouldn't budge. The stickers stayed stuck to the carpet, and I realized what I really needed was a power-washer for the INSIDE of my car.
Then it happened. I sucked up something and immediately I knew it was bad, just from the new sound coming from the hose, but the ear-piercing screaming is what really got my attention. My daughter was acting like someone had poked a hot syringe in her eyeball.
"What's wrong?" I asked frantically.
"My mask! You vacuumed up my Bat-Girl mask!!!"
The words sunk in and so many things came to my mind. First of all, the vacuum is strong enough to suck up an entire mask? Then why won't it get the rest of this stuff from my car? Second of all, OH NO!!! The beloved Bat-Girl Mask! What does a desperate Mom do, especially when it is clearly her fault?
I ran to the man behind the curtain and begged him to help. He began to dismantle the vacuum and we waited with baited breath. After several tense minutes he produced a dirty, bedraggled Bat-Girl mask. We were thrilled. I could have kissed him (And probably would have, but he was in high school and I didn't want him to report me to his parents).
I began to ponder why I even bother cleaning my car, when I know that within a day it's going to look like a homeless person lives there, and then it hit me: the indignity of a Mom in the car wash. There are few things in life as humiliating as cleaning out my car, but it's really not my fault. It's just life. And honestly, my car wasn't that clean before I had kids, but it wasn't this bad. I promise.
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