Saturday, November 26, 2011

You Don't Own Me

Lately I've been feeling like I don't have control over my life and it's really stressing me out.  My company decided to reorganize and we all know what that means.  Major change.  Once I found out that I definitely still had a job, I was very relieved and it took away a lot of the stress, but things are still very much up in the air.  I will definitely have to travel more and with Hubby gone at the hospital so much, often overnight, going out of town takes a ton of organization between my Mom, my babysitter, and Hubby's Mom. 

I don't normally feel this kind of stress.  I have come to terms with the fact that I do have to work because right now Hubby doesn't make nearly enough as a resident for us to cover all of our bills.  It doesn't bother me at all that I have to work because I do actually like working and I enjoy never having to fight about money.  Mostly, I enjoy it because I had everything worked out and it was going well.  The nanny was happy with her schedule, the kids were in a routine, and I was making everything work.  Now I'm going to have a new boss, I'm going to be gone more, and I'll probably make less money.  How is it that I can be working hard, selling plenty of equipment, and suddenly BAM!!  Everything has to change and I don't get a choice.

All that being said, I am currently enjoying a four day weekend from work.  We spent the morning decorating the house for Christmas and at one point during the decorating, I looked around my house.  I was suddenly filled with the feeling of pure happiness.  The house looked so warm with all the lights and stockings, the kids were dancing to Christmas Carols, and I suddenly thought, "You don't own me!  You don't control my happiness!!  I control my happiness!"

I admit this probably sounds a tad melodramatic, but once that hit me, I felt free.  Now the kids are napping and I'm enjoying the quiet house while I drink some hot tea.  I know I'll be able to get through whatever comes because I do have choices in life and I choose to be happy with what I have.  See?  How could this NOT make me happy??


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4 comments:

  1. Very true and very profound. Thanks for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love your attitude and positive perspective.
    We found your blog through the blog hop and We are sure glad we did, We love it! The "girly girls" are now following you! You can find us at
    http://www.christiangirlygirls.com/
    and on facebook at
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Christian-Girly-Girls/254482111265873

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi! I'm a new follower via weekend warrior blog hop. I have to day your blog title drew me and your description made me feel tired, lol how to you manage? I'm transitioning into a SAHM. I couldn't cope with it all. Although I readily admit being home scares me and will be just as draining.

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  4. Oh how I remember the trying times of being a single Mom with a career. The guilt, the stress, the worry. My kids have grown up to be wonderful people and the best parents. It does get better, but time goes so fast too. Enjoy every moment.

    ReplyDelete